It’s Okay if Your Friends Aren’t Texting Back Right Now


With all of us being shut in due to the pandemic, many people are finding themselves struggling with social isolation. Being inside all day isn’t good for your mental or physical health. Meanwhile, dealing with unemployment, financial insecurity, child care, and countless other issues are piling stress on top of worrying about being infected by the virus.

 

Many posts are circulating the internet, quoting phrases like, “If they wanted to talk to you, they would,” “Nobody likes a low-effort friendship,” and “This pandemic is really showing me the true colors of all my so-called friends.”

 

However, saying these things is hurtful towards those around you. All of us are going through a collective trauma. This pandemic is causing extreme distress and anxiety for everyone, and many people tend to withdraw when going through something traumatic.

 

Not everyone responds to trauma or handles stress in the same way. Many people are able to connect to others for support and guidance from their loved ones, but others tend to isolate themselves and find it harder to reach out for support.

 

Additionally, it can be difficult to be happy and social with others when you are struggling with day-to-day life. The pandemic is exacerbating existing mental health issues, meaning that people who already suffer from mental illnesses are experiencing a drastic increase in their symptoms.  When you are struggling with depression, anxiety, or any other type of mental disorder, talking to friends might not be at the top of your to-do list.

 

If someone is finding it difficult to eat, sleep, and function normally these days, they likely aren’t reaching out to you because of this. Taking care of yourself is always the top priority, so your friends may be trying to do this first before they attempt to reconnect with you.


 

Instead, try reaching out to your friends to check up on them (without giving them pressure to talk or give you frequent updates – this can be overwhelming to some people). Your friend will enjoy hearing from you again and likely appreciates you taking the time to see how they’re doing.

 

Remember: It’s not that they don’t care about you – it’s that they are trying their best to take care of themselves right now. Your friends still love you and care about you, but it can be difficult to reach out and be social during stressful times like these. Please be kind and understanding towards everyone, even people who don’t seem like they’re struggling. 



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